Pride & Prejudice - I've watched this movie twice in the last 7 days. The newest one, with Kierra Knightly.
The story stirs something in my heart, something that I'm scared of, something that I've always suspected was there, but never wanted to come face to face with it. I'm not a girly girl, and don't fancy myself the kind of woman who wants to be in love for the sake of being in love. Quite frankly, most men scare me, and being around most men is difficult at best these days. It's rather surprising to realize that there is still this ... thing ... in me that is growing day in and day out...
It's this desire to meet a man who challenges me in every way, spurring me to be a stronger woman and a stronger Christian, even while vexing me with the surety of his own strength...something akin to arrogance, I suspect. It's the desire to meet a man who sees me, with all my faults, and finds me irresistable - intectually and spiritually. It's the desire to meet a man who respects not only the appearance of purity, but also the action of purity - even while wanting to kiss me senseless. It's this desire to meet a man who appreciates that I can be all those things to him as well.
In the most simplest words, it's the desire to be loved wholly, as I am, with no pretense.
I want this.
Don't get me wrong...I do not need this. I have been single for a long time, and will remain so for the rest of my life, if that is the life God has chosen for me. I do not need a man in my life.
But...I do want this.
I have been single for a long time, and although the wait is more difficult some days than others, wait I shall. And pray that my affections are held in check until the right man...the man I described above...makes himself known.
At that time...I will smile, laugh, take his hand, and be happily content to spend the rest of my days with a man who will continually spur me to become an even better version of myself.
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