I have a photo from when I was younger. My father, brother and I sitting at the kitchen table at home in Maryland. I'm about 4 or 5...and the scene is one of mischief and childish glee. I have looked at that photo and wondered where that girl went...she was happy, she was extroverted, she was in love with life. I asked my mom one day and her explanation was: Life happened to you. Life changed you.
I didn't like that explanation. No matter how true it is.
Today, I was riding the bus, and realized something: I'm smiling a lot these days. For no reason, really.
Crossing the street, walking in front of cars, I smile.
I see an entirely tree-lined street (uncommon for this desert city), and smile with eyes wide in wonder.
I see a little girl be-bopping her way through the crosswalk behind her parents, and grin at ther, enjoying that who-cares-what-people-think attitude...and grin wider when she grins back.
There are relaxed smiles with eyes closed when I hear the birds on the way to the bus stop in the morning.
There are loud, laughing smiles watching birds hop after grasshoppers.
There are giggling smiles when a little boy points out an airplane in the sky...smiling at me as I share in his amazing discovery.
I chuckle to myself as I'm waiting on word of those elusive alfalfa sprouts and see an older man strutting hard through the produce section. (can't find alfalfa sprouts anywhere - and that makes me laugh as well)
Smiles. Laughter.
It's normal.
It's expected.
And as I notice this, I smile wider...and welcome myself back to life.
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