Doc Visit, Body Shock, The Whole Program, and Fat Cheeky Birdies

Okay, so Kati is in town. The Fin. And she loves to shop. And run around like a crazy person who's never been to America before. (:o) love you Kati!)


On Friday, my first Friday off thankyouverymuch, she made me SHOP. Well, I should back up a little. First on the agenda that day, I had a doctor's appointment. I felt good about it...she's pushing me to lose weight, and I finally started to do it, so I had a WHOLE bunch of stuff to brag about! :o)


The first thing she says to me is "I can tell you've lost because your face is thinner." High Praise ACCOMPLISHED! My blood pressure is normal, she's pleased that I've not only started working out but changed eating habits completely, and she's also optimistic that I can be off bp meds by the end of the year. She did caution that it could be genetic for me...keeping me on a low dose of one med, but she said "We'll see."


Okay, so back to Kati making me SHOP. We went to Barnes & Noble, sat and read magazines for a bit, then walked to and through the mall, stopping at Bath & Body Works, Payless Shoes, JC Penny, Master Cuts...and then home. In Master Cuts, Kati got some highlights and a haircut, I got a haircut and my eyebrows done. And I suddenly remembered (Although we were SHOPPING, I was having a lot of fun!) I had a session with Anthony at 6 pm. It was already past 4 pm. I called him to reschedule, and in typical Anthony fashion he (jokingly) gave me a hard time about it. We rescheduled for Saturday 2 pm, then talked for a little bit, he sympathized with my having to SHOP, but told me I'd have to buy smaller clothes (awww), and then it was my turn in the chair.


Saturday morning dawned sunny and warm. The Rio Carnival Buffet was on the agenda. Kevin, Kati and I went, we saw prices, we debated going somewhere else, Kati made the final decision. We stayed. It was a champagne brunch, meaning unlimited champagne with your unlimited food. I was SO GOOD at the buffet. I didn't pig out, I didn't get bad stuff, I ate healthy and kept portions under control. I had two sips of champagne, and decided ewwww. And for desert, I opted for the sugar free chocolate gelato instead of the regular.


We left the buffet, Kati and I used the restroom, and then she wanted pictures playing a slot machine. (soooo touristy). And then I started to feel nauseous. Not just a "ooo, I could probably throw up if I tried" nauseous, but a "I am DEFINITELY going to throw up, and must get to a toilet NOW" kind of nauseous. I told Kevin & Kati, ran back to the bathroom, and up came the gelato. Nothing else. Just the gelato. We all think that my body has decided to reject unhealthy, and warn me if I'm getting off track. That the couple things of french fries and less then healthy things I'd consumed over the last few days (to which I'd always tell Kevin and Kati "Don't tell Anthony!") were enough to shock my body into throwing something back up in an effort to defend it's new lifestyle. Well...maybe. That's what I'm choosing to believe anyway. :o)


So, they took me home, and I relaxed until it was time for the gym. I got there a half hour early, and decided to warm up on the treadmill to see how the stomach would react to the activity. At first it was hard going...I was nauseous again (the "I could if I tried" kind this go round), but pushing through it. Anthony came over to me, stood in front of the treadmill, looked at me and said "You're doing the whole program now, you know that?"


I didn't. I said "Huh?" He replied, "I was going to start asking you to come in early to do 10 minutes on the treadmill and 10 minutes on the bike before starting our sessions. And you went and did it on your own. That's really good, Dawn."


:o) Thanks Boss! I told him about the buffet and throwing up, and he offered to basically give me a free session - he'd follow me around as I did light stuff for the day instead of pushing it. I refused (stupid of me I know), and said "Let's go for it." So, he followed me to the bike, sat on the one next to me, and kept me company while I did 10 minutes.


Our session was hard. He had to push me on tricep exercises, but he also kept making me laugh in between sets, perhaps more than usual, to keep making sure I was okay. He also had to help a couple times. But he also said that I'm failing exactly where he's expecting me to fail, and that's pretty awesome. My right arm is way stronger than my left. Where I needed help with the left tricep, I didn't need any with my right.


After the session, I showed him a picture of Kati, and a picture of Kevin - our only way of introducing them since they couldn't get to the gym without losing a good chunk of their day. And I took a couple pictures of him to show them. I made him laugh the first one, and he made me take another one, and told me to delete the laughing one. I didn't, but won't share it with y'all. :o) Then he insisted on one of us together. I look tired and sweaty. He looks like he's going to come out of the picture and get you. Wonderful photo!


OH! And those fat cheeky birdies. There are a group of little birds that hang out at Starbucks at the Fashion Show Mall - where I stop sometimes in the morning before heading across the street to work. They are SO CUTE. I just had to mention them. That's all. :o)


Next session Tuesday. I'll continue visiting the Wellness Center at work in the mornings. And maybe after work as well, when I don't go to the gym. We'll see how that goes.


Have a wonderful week everyone! :o)

Progress & Disappointment - First Measurement

We did measurements on Tuesday. It was the first time since the first session. About a month has gone by, and there has been "progress made" as Anthony put it. He was pleased. I felt a mixture of satisfaction and disappointment.

So, I lost about 11 pounds, give or take a couple. By my scale, I've lost almost 15, but my weight fluxuates so much from day to day it's really hard to tell. We didn't use the scale at the gym, because Anthony doesn't trust "a scale that 100's of people get on every day." He's right...the calibration is probably way off on that sucker. So we're going by my scale.So I've obviously lost fat mass and body weight.

I've lost about 3 inches from my upper arm and waist. I've lost an inch from my forearm and calf. I've lost an inch or two from my thigh (can't remember which), and gained an inch on my hip - Anthony says that's normal because of all the walking and bike riding I've been doing. My neck and chest stayed the same, which is weird (even he says so).

I'm a little disappointed. Probably shouldn't be, but am. I guess it's because I've done such a complete change from a month ago...my eating habits and exercise habits...even other ways, like mentally and spiritually. All changes for the better...I just expected a more marked change in those measurements. I have to keep reminding myself that inches aren't pounds...that I can't expect big numbers when we're talking about small units of measurement like that...if I lost 5 inches from my upper arm, for instance, I'd look very strange indeed.

Progress has been made. :o) And I'm definitely not quitting. So, progress will continue to be made. Anthony wants me to start doing cardio once or twice a day, since I have access to equipment at work. I've gone into our Wellness Center and ridden the bike two mornings this week. 10 miles each time, which is about 25-28 minutes. I've worked 8 days straignt though, so didn't get in there today.

By stepping up the cardio, and by my really pushing the water intake (a gallon a day, dude...still can't believe that), progress will continue. And Anthony is going to start stepping things up at the gym too...he's putting me on the treadmill with a 4.0 incline and the speed just short of making me jog (meany) and he's starting me on super sets. (I think that's it...two different muscle groups back to back with no resting between.)

So, until next time...lata!

Harsh Words

I'm tired today. I mean...dead tired. Dragging the ground tired. I haven't worked out since Thursday, and even though my job is a physically demanding one...I still feel the guilt. I'm eating okay...not going crazy with Panda Express or Raising Cane's or even junk in general. I've had a bit of chocolate the last week, but other than that, I'm really not getting enough to eat, to be honest.

When I'm this tired, I get emotional. Working 7 am - 3 pm today was a blessing, but it was still a hard day. I was dragging by 1 pm, barely even getting done by 3. And my request for tomorrow (Tuesday) off was denied, so I'm going to be working 8 days straight.

So yeah, being a little bit emotional isn't good when you're in public.

And this is where the harsh words come in. I noticed a woman on the bus today ... WAY overweight. The term morbidly obsese describes me in clinical terms, but there's gotta be another level of obesity to describe her. She walks with a cane. She takes short breaths through her mouth. And she was testy...a little on the mean side. I noticed her, and then couldn't keep from looking at her several times until she got off the bus.

And I started crying.

Not because I felt sorry for her, or felt compassion for her. But because I'm desperate to not become her. It was like looking in a mirror with a plaque labeling the reflection: "This is you in 5 years if you slack off."

And then, two wheelchairs came on, and I had to stand again. Right behind the second wheelchair, at the same stop, two women and a boy came on. The boy is heavyset, the older woman is overweight, and the younger woman ... bigger than the one who just got off the bus. She might not even have been 20 years old. She stood next to me at the back door of the bus, all three of them actually. And people had to ask them to move to get off the bus.

Then one of the wheelchairs left, and the boy ran to the seats and put them down before the lady was even off the ramp. He took one facing front, the older woman took another facing side, and the biggest girl took up two seats next to the older woman. I watched this, looked up at her, and she was staring at me. The expression on her face was "So? You're fat too."

I got home, exhausted and sore (from work, not from working out), made a salad, and watched the latest episode of Brothers & Sisters online. The ads between segments of the show were for some asthma medication. The two women that were talking the drug up were - you guessed it - overweight.

I wanted to scream at them: "You can't BREATHE because you're FAT. LOSE it and maybe the asthma will go away!"

I'm disgusted. Mostly with myself for letting it get this far in my life and body. But I'm also disgusted with people who think being overweight is just fine. I used to be one of those people who said "I'm overweight, but other than that I'm really healthy." But I've come to learn over the last couple months that being overweight is NOT healthy, nor has it EVER been, nor will it EVER BE.

The damage to internal organs alone is enought to show that, but what about all the other things? Diabetes, inablility to move freely without aid, heart problems...so many things. Not to mention the emotional / mental things.

I'm sick of being fat. I'm sick of seeing fat people everywhere. And I really don't know what else to write, so perhaps I should just leave it at that.

Soreness Bliss and Hello Love

It's been a while since I blogged about this year long "get healthy" adventure. Don't worry, I'm as jazzed about it all as ever. I even have a doctor's appointment on Friday to talk to her and get her on board. I'm sure she'll be excited.

Anthony keeps telling me that the reason we do legs every single session is because it's a large muscle group, and it needs the attention. Well, attention they GOT. Yesterday, I did another form of sqats, with a Smith machine, (google or youtube smith machine squats - no joke), and today, I hurt. (I call it bliss because I love this feeling. It means I'm FNALLY DOING SOMETHING!) We also did leg extentions. And the row machine. There was another one we wanted to do, for hamstrings, but some young kid was hogging the machine. Anthony called it a sacrifice, and I made my face do the necessary grim expression, while inside I was jumping for joy! Inside. All inside. Because by this point, I could barely walk. I'm still eating well, although still not getting enough calories.

We're doing measurements Tuesday, and I'm a little nervous. I can feel / see differences. When I put my face/chin in my hand, I can feel my jaw and cheek bones. And I do that often, because it feels so COOL. :o) My calves seem slimmer. Even my forearms seem slimmer. I'm a little bit more flexible. My stomach seems a little smaller, and according to my scale, I've lost 10 pounds. Yet, I'm still nervous. I would rather wait a couple months. My trainer says, "Don't worry. They've changed. I KNOW they've changed." I guess it's his job to be sure of such things.

He gave me this paper explaining carbs, protein, fat, and water, and what each does and how each is important. He gives it to me, and says "I highlighted the important parts" - with a grin - and I look at the paper and it's basically all yellow. I laughed at him, he laughed at himself, and this is an example of the kind of trainer/trainee relationship we have. (later that evening, I said "Yes Boss" to some direction and then said "Well, technically, I'm the boss since I'm paying you." He thought a minute. Then said, "Shut up.") :o) He's SO MUCH FUN!

Anyway, Did you know that protein helps regulate water balance in the body? And according to that paper, I should be drinking a GALLON of water a day. Sheesh. No wonder I'm always so dehydrated. But a gallon? That's a LOT of water. It's a GALLON. That's a LOT of water!
And I bought this book called Nutrition Almanac. I've not gotten far into it...the first chapter only. But the first section of that chapter walks you through digestion. I'd forgotten most of it. Like - I'd completely forgotten how important the liver is - and felt compelled to apologize to my liver for treating it so badly. And while reading that, I was newly fascinated at the human body, and stopped several times to say out loud to no one - "How can anyone think humans are just some cosmic accident???"

It is SO amazing how the body just knows what to do. Digestion happens without a thought from us beyond swallowing. All the right nutrients go to the right places, in the right way...OH, and did you know that the three energy-yeilding nutrients always leave the stomach in the SAME order? Carbohydrates first, proteins second, then fats, which take the longest to break down. AMAZING.

And the best part of all this stuff that's happened with working out and learning about nutrition...was the talk Anthony and I had yesterday after our session. He told me his story - his testimony if you will - and although I can't give you any details, suffice it to say, God did an incredible work in his life, and I am super inspired by it. He's becoming a great friend as well as being a great trainer. And the more he and I talk, the more I'm convinced that God picked Anthony to be my trainer way back when that kid started going to that very gym 12 years ago at 15 years old. We both had to make a lot of different choices to come to this point, and I'm very thankful that we both let God get ahold of us.

One more thing, then it's off to the bed and watching an episode of Leverage online while I fall asleep. (And who the heck cares if it's only 8 pm?)(Shush.) I got Chris Tomlin's new album - Hello Love - on iTunes a couple weeks ago, and finally listened to it on the way home from the gym last night. This album - in it's ENTIRETY - is simply incredible. Every. Single. Song. Been listening to it over and over again. (I made three roundtrip bus trips between home and work today - don't ask.) Get it. You won't be disappointed.

So, after a long blog...good night friends. Sleep well, and have a most wondermous weekend! :o)

Love,
Dawn

Goodbye, 2008

2008. I won't miss it. I learned so much. I enjoyed so much. I strived so much. I loved so much. I laughed so much. I cried so much.

But ... 2009? Oh my ... in 2009 - I will learn, even more. I will enjoy, even more. I will strive, even more. I will love, even more. I will laugh, even more. And I will cry, even more.

Life is meant to be lived, abundantly. Love is meant to be given, freely. Laughter is meant to be shared, unsparingly. Tears are meant to be shed, unashamedly.

I am determined. I am focused. I am at peace. I am content. And I am happy.

And God is the Center of it all.

:o)

Love you all.

Happy New Year!