How exactly do you do that?
I guess, in some ways, it's un-erasable. For instance, the damage to my heart is irreversible, barring a miracle from God - which I totally believe can happen, don't get me wrong. The experience of being overweight for so long means a lot of missed opportunities, some of which will never come around again. I believe that if I hadn't been overweight, I may have been in a better place within my marriage - or even before meeting him, and maybe wouldn't have gotten married at all...meaning no divorce and dealing with that over the years. Those things, and others, are un-erasable.
On second thought...it's all un-erasable. And that's okay with me...I just realized how exactly okay that is with me. Because all the experiences over the years, beginning with the beginning...they have all led up to this day. This time. This experience. And I wouldn't be the person I am today if those experiences hadn't happened.
However.
This is the day I say, "No more." This is the day I say, "This will change." This is the day I say, "I believe in miracles." This is the day I say, "I believe in myself."
Most importantly, this is the day I say, "I believe in the ability of God to give me the strength to make permanent changes in my life."
And those changes may not erase the neglect of the last 17 years...but they sure will make the rest of my life a glorious testimony to the COMPLETE power of His redemption.
Tomorrow, December 16, 2008, is my first appointment with a personal trainer.
I'll keep you posted on the progress.
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