Taking Control

I can't believe I'm wide awake at 5 am on my "weekend". There's something very wrong with this picture!

Anyway, the other day, I went through ALL the food in my pantry, in the fridge, and in the freezer. I learned something about myself:

I know how to eat properly. I know what's healthy. I know how to put that stuff together to keep it healthy. I just don't DO it.

As such, I've come to this conclusion:

Knowledge is power ONLY if you use that knowledge.

In other words, knowledge is just like potential. If it's not put to use, it's useless.

So, with that list of food items in hand, I made a menu for two days, and learned something else.

I don't eat enough. With Weight Watchers Flex plan, I'm alotted a certain number of points per day. (36 because of my physically demanding job - which I decided should be lowered to 30 on my days off.) The menu I made for yesterday, 3 meals with 2 snacks, only gave me 21-25 points. WHAT??? Sheesh. You mean I have to eat MORE???

So, instead of buying light butter, I bought regular. Instead of buying fat free milk, I bought 2%. These two little items will only give me a couple more points a day, but hey...I need all I can get!

Ugghhh. I learned something yesterday too....I ate the breakfast I planned, the snack, the lunch, the next snack... And always by the time the next bit of food was due, I was hungry. It's strange, because usually I can go the entire day after eating breakfast without anything. But I made sure to stick to the plan, and drank a lot of water. And I was consistently hungry. The only thing I can gather (without formal nutritional counseling or schooling) is that if I'm fueling my body with healthy things, and fueling it consistently (i.e. not taking 12 hours off), my body is consistently burning, therefore, getting the whole "feed me semore" thing going every few hours.

And wonder of all wonders...I had an amazing amount of energy at the end of the work day. Enough to go straight out and see "The Secret Life of Bees" (which is the best movie I've seen all year, btw.) And usually, I'm coming straight home and going immediately into a lethargical state.

So, we'll keep it up. And see how it goes. :o)

Nanowrimo 2008

It's that time of year again. :o) And although I didn't get off the ground with this story last year, I'm determined to do it - and finish! - this year.

Merry Christmas, Mr. C

Main Cast:

Jasmine

She's an independently wealthy (by way of her strike it rich parents) youngish woman who grew up in Las Vegas and still calls the city her home. She's surrounded and supported by a group of close friends (including her brother). Jasmine spends her days at various Starbucks' around the city, using the non-confrontational setting to build a very thorough character database for the sole purpose of writing a best-selling novel - someday. She also has an ... unhealthy? ... obsession with George Clooney, and is on a mission to get the best ever Christmas present for this man who can have anything he wants. She'd also like to have coffee with him, because let's face it...an internationally acclaimed actor would be a fantastic addition to her database.

Johnson

Johnson is a newcomer to Jasmine's world. Yes, of course. She interviews him. I'm not really sure what he does as a profession, because he hasn't told me yet. So writing his story line will be quite an adventure. I do know that he meets Jasmine by answering an ad she runs routinely in the paper, but he isn't exactly what he seems to be.

Despite his reluctance to give me any information about himself, he has made it clear that he will be an integral part of the story...as in the male lead. He meets Jasmine, gets involved with her life, her friends love him, her brother approves of him, and all is well. Or so it would seem...cause when it comes right down to it, no one really knows much about Johnson.

Abigail and Jeremiah

The married couple among the friends. Abigail is one of Jasmine's best friends. Jeremiah is a member of the group by way of dating and marrying Abigail. They've been married for going on 5 years, and do not have children. They are determined not to have children. They do not ever want children. Ever.

Abigail is a high school teacher (hence her aversion to kids - they all become selfish spoiled brats!). She's the obnoxious one, loud and witty without being overbearing.

Jeremiah is a tower manager at one of the hotel/casino/resorts on the Strip.

Mason and Katelynn

These two have been tip-toeing around each other for several years, dating other people in hopes of "getting over" each other, because everyone knows that dating can ruin a wonderful friendship, right? Right?

Katelynn is Jasmine's other best friend (the three have been close since elementary school), and perhaps the shy-est of the three friends (which is probably why she hasn't made a move on Mason yet). By profession, Kate is a used book store / coffee shop owner. She does not sell Starbucks products in her store, and constantly teases Jasmine about her betrayal in all things coffee.

Mason has known the girls since he moved to Las Vegas in high school, when he became a good friend of Derrick, Jasmine's brother. He is a fashion designer by profession, and is determined to make a name for himself as one of the few straight male designers in the business. It would help if he had a steady girlfriend.

Sabrina and Derrick

Sabrina, like Johnson, is a newcomer to the group of friends. She works in the same hotel as Derrick, and after they meet, he starts bringing her to the group's weekly family dinners. She gets along well with the entire group. She's a pastry chef, and hopes to own her own bakery someday.

Derrick is Jasmine's twin brother. He's an executive chef in a top rated restaurant on the Strip, with no aspiration to own his own place. He loves his job, admires his boss, and he loves Las Vegas. Life can't get much better than this, can it?

Sabrina and Derrick love each other's company, and quickly become great friends. They are NOT a couple...yet. But who knows?

So there you have it. :o) The main cast of Merry Christmas, Mr. C. :o) It'll be fun to start working with these characters, as I learned so much about them just in writing this cast list!

"Pre-Diabetes"

So, the doctor referred me to a dietician. Well, the place she referred me to is a Diabetes Clinic, and she wants me to participate in a "pre-diabetes" workshop. A 4 hour class on how to change eating habits and prevent moving into diabetes.

It's all great, really. I even bought an easy-to-read book on prediabetes at Borders the other day.

But she never told me she thought I was pre-diabetic. She told me my blood sugar was in the normal range when we did a blood test months ago.

Regardless, coupled with the heart issue (described in my previous post), I'm sufficiently awake (as in wake up call...work with me here people!). I went through all the food in my pantry today, wrote it all down, and realized that all in all, I have some decent stuff, and more than enough to begin eating better. I went to the store to supplement a couple items, and even made out a menu for Monday and Tuesday.

So here we go. Again. Will this time stick? I sure hope so. We'll see.

Oh and btw - my doctor doesn't want me to "work out". She wants me to walk. And that's all. Walk. She doesn't want me doing too much too soon. And my work is enough strenuous exercise for now. So walking it will be. Although, I think I'll add some abdominal workouts, and some stretching, and maybe a bit of hip hop dancing (workout dvd I bought a couple years ago). But nothing too strenuous. :o) If it's fun, it's not strenous, right?

Perhaps by this time next year, I'll have regained my "hot chick" status. :o)

Wake Up Call

So, I've been seeing a doctor for the last few months. Not socially. HA! No, I've been going to the doctor for high blood pressure. Over the last months, she's done numerous blood tests, put me on medication, had me get an echocardiogram, and changed my medication once.

Yesterday was my latest appointment. She gave me some news that shocked me, although it probably shouldn't have.

She told me that the reason she'd switched my medication was that the echo showed thickening of the heart. Which means my heart has been working too hard - because of the high blood pressure and because I'm so overweight. The blood pressure is now under control...but if I don't lose weight...well. It won't be good. When she said "it could lead to heart attacks, or, well. Heart failure." I wanted to cry.

What have I done to myself? It was a wake up call.

I've been thinking about it since...and all the ramifications (that may or may not be the right word). I mean...with God all things are possible. But suppose God decides to let it remain, and chooses not to miraculously reverse this seemingly irreversable condition?

It could mean my life will be shorter than God originally intended for it to be. It could mean that - being an organ donor - my heart is nontransplantable, which cheats someone out of a healthy heart. It will mean that if I were to marry again, my husband would have to deal with the knowledge that my selfishness, laziness, and procrastination in overcoming addiction to food has cheated him out of a few years with his wife. Same with any children we may have.

In other words...this doesn't just touch me. It touches everyone in my life. This is no longer something I've done to myself, but something I've done that affects others.

So, I'm going to a dietician. And I'm going to try. I haven't been trying. But it's no longer something I can be blase about. I have no choice. I have to lose weight.

It's pretty serious now.